Wednesday, I have a conference with "a" 's pre-k teacher. She also taught "A" when he was in kindergarten. We love her!! I am afraid that she is going to tell me that "a" is too young for school yet. I'm not sure how I feel about that. On the one hand I am sad because he is just not ready for the fun that is school. On the other hand, he is my last and there is a part of me that says "good, more time with him".
I was talking with a friend of mine who had a different take on the situation. At first she said that it was a cultural thing. That black people were more the push you out of the nest kind (she is black). Then she said that it was maybe a single mom thing. She has so much to do to take care of everything else that her kids are self sufficient sooner. She said that when they are 18 they are on their own. In college, homeless shelter or on the street.
I was thinking how sad that was. I am all for independence in my kids and you guys know that my kids have independence down to a fine art!! I still would find it hard to just say o.k., get out. I would like to believe that my children would have the same relationship with me that I have with my parents. I love them, know that they care, and yes they are interfering sometimes, but that is a sign that they love you. I respect my parents not only because they are my parents, but because of the experiences that they have had. I want them to be a part of my life forever.
I want them to interfer in my life when I am 80!! I want my children to feel the same way about me. Know that I love them and always will and that I will be there when they need me. I will always stand by them as they make their mistakes in life and if I can say something to make their lives easier, I will. Does that mean that they will listen? Probably not, but they can fail knowing that I will still love them.
After all, isn't that what our parents were trying to instill in us?
Oh, well. after this I think I will just take things as they come.
3 comments:
On the one hand shoving your kids out at 18 (or 17 in my case) may seem like a great plan LOL You and I have kids 12 and under and are yet to experience Emily, Tom, A,L and a as teenagers. It was so hard for me when my parents left, yes it was my parents that lefy home!! I wasn't mature enough in any way and it caused me to make some rather shocking errors in my life. Would I have it any other way now? No! Being alone so young made me hellishly stubborn and able to cope with my life today. My family was never nurturing and I felt alone from about the age of 5. I don't think I would be the person I am today if they had have been actually and all things considered I've ended up pretty ok if I do say so myself.
My children? Mine will stay with me for as long as they like. I love them more than the world and like to think that even if they stay until they're 30 both kids will have my stubborness and strength. As long as I have breath in my body they will never feel alone and they will always know just like your guys that they can come to me whenever they need me and I'll do my best to help.
Someone has to pluck my chin hair when I'm 80 afterall LOL
Remember, we are going to live together when we are two old ladies. Let's be the kid that cruise the mall in our silver sneakers. Part of the fun of growing old and having our kids grow up is being able to embarrass them in public.
I HAVE IT ON RECORD NOW AND I WILL PROBABLY FRAME THIS SENTENCE---
"I WANT THEM TO INTERFERE WHEN I'M 80"
LOVE YOU,
MOM
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